Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
