it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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