Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
