Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
