yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
