Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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