Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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