if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was born a porn star she said
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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