Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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