I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
