after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
