Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
