So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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