Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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