My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
