his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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