no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
40s are totally the cure
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
