guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
