This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
