The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
