He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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