and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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