Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize