TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
