ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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