This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize