I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
