I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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