HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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