i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
