She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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