I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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