He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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