Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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