The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
