I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize