i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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