I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize