The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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