tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
