uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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