also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Found the puke drawer
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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