Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
