Whod you bang
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
