what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
