covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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