apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
