what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
