What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
