So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I know her cup size but not her name....
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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