i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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