where does the pee come out of this thing
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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