I feel great
I just peed on a car
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
