Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
