The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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