i always forget guys have bellybuttons
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
