but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
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How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
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The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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