I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
