I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
