I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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