Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
